How to Choose Where to Live Abroad: 6 Lessons From Living in 8 Countries

I've been to 85 countries and lived long-term in eight, from Indonesia and China to the UK and Argentina.

I've spent years moving between countries, trying to figure out not just where I wanted to travel, but where I actually wanted to live.

I also run Hidden Jam, a travel company built around small-group adventures, from sailing and surfing to skiing. So I spend a slightly ridiculous amount of time thinking about places, people and what makes somewhere feel right.

After all those moves, I've become much less interested in lists of the best countries to live in.

If you're thinking about moving abroad, here's what I've learned instead.

What to consider when choosing where to live abroad

Before choosing a country or city, think about more than the cost of living or how good it looks on Instagram.

Consider:

• Cost of living: Can you comfortably afford your everyday life?

• Visa and residency: Can you legally stay and work there long-term?

• Language: Are you willing to learn the local language?

• Social life: Will you actually meet the kind of people you want around you?

• Climate: Can you live with the weather year-round, not just during a two-week visit?

• Work and business: Can you realistically build your career or business there?

• Culture: Do you actually enjoy the way people live and socialize?

• Integration: Do you want to become part of the local community, or are you happy living in an expat bubble?

These are the practical questions.

But after living in eight countries, I've found that they only tell you part of the story.

The other part is the one nobody can really put into a spreadsheet: whether the place actually feels right for you.

And that's where things get interesting.

1. Some countries let you in. Some never will.

One of the biggest things I've learned from living abroad is that living somewhere and becoming part of somewhere aren't necessarily the same thing.

In places like Indonesia, Japan and Senegal, you can live there for years and still find yourself largely inside an expat bubble.

In countries like the US, Australia and Argentina, it can be easier to gradually pick up the language, understand the culture and eventually feel like you belong.

Neither is inherently better.

The problem comes when you move somewhere expecting one experience and get another.

I've watched people spend years somewhere and then become frustrated because they still have almost no local friends and never really feel connected to the culture.

If becoming part of the local community matters to you, figure that out before you move.

One possible solution is building your life around local people rather than other expats. But it's much easier to make that decision upfront than after you've already built an entire life inside an expat bubble.

2. Don't choose a city based on rankings

There are endless rankings telling you where to live as a digital nomad or expat.

They'll compare cities based on cost, safety, weather, internet speed, friendliness and a dozen other metrics.

Useful? Sometimes.

Enough to decide where you should live? Absolutely not.

You can have two completely different lives in two neighborhoods of the same city.

The block you're on can matter more than the name of the city.

And there's one thing no ranking can really measure: the vibe.

You only get that by being there.

That's one reason I don't think you can fully research your way into choosing the right place to live. At some point, you have to spend time there.

It's the same reason I care so much about the experience around a destination when we plan a Hidden Jam sailing trip. The destination is important, but what you actually do there and who you experience it with can completely change the trip.

3. Only take advice from people who want the life you want

My friends love Dubai.

I love my friends.

The thought of living in Dubai sounds like personal hell to me.

So I would never ask them where I should move.

This sounds obvious, but people constantly take relocation advice from people whose priorities are completely different from theirs.

Someone might tell you that a city is amazing because of its nightlife, when you care about surfing.

Someone else might love a place because it's cheap, when you care about building a creative community.

Someone might prioritize career opportunities while you care more about nature and having dinner with friends every night.

The right place depends on the life you're trying to build.

It's like taking relationship advice from someone in a terrible relationship. You can listen, but be very careful about what you take away from it.

4. Pay more attention to the downsides

When people decide where to move, they usually make a list of everything they love about a place.

The weather.

The restaurants.

The beaches.

The nightlife.

The beautiful apartments.

I think you should spend just as much time thinking about what will annoy you.

Because the things that bother you slightly during week one can become the things you absolutely cannot stand by month twelve.

Maybe you hate the bureaucracy.

Maybe you can't stand driving everywhere.

Maybe you miss having a social life that doesn't happen spontaneously.

Maybe the weather is beautiful but you hate being outside in it half the year.

The good parts were never going to be the problem.

The real question is whether you can live with the bad parts.

5. A place can fit one season of your life and not another

I was obsessed with Bali.

Paris was the dream.

I was genuinely happy living in both.

Right now, I don't want to live in either.

Maybe I'll go back to Paris in ten years. Maybe I won't.

I used to think that meant I hadn't found the right place yet.

Now I think it just means I changed.

The place that's perfect for you at 25 might be completely wrong for you at 30.

Your priorities change. Your career changes. Your relationships change. Your tolerance for certain things changes.

You don't have to find the one country where you'll live forever.

You just have to find the place that fits the life you're living now.

And once you've experienced the possibility of moving somewhere else, it's surprisingly hard to stop at one.

6. Don't forget what happens outside your free time

There's another part of moving abroad that gets almost no attention when people talk about choosing a country.

How are you actually going to live and work there?

It's easy to spend weeks comparing beaches, apartments and restaurants and forget about the boring stuff.

If you're working remotely, moving countries can mean dealing with different currencies, local contracts, taxes, banking, invoices and employment rules.

If you're building a business, it gets even more complicated.

The logistics of living internationally can shape your experience just as much as the city itself.

So before moving somewhere, don't just ask:

“Would I enjoy living here?”

Also ask:

“Can I realistically build my life here?”

So, where should you move?

After living in eight countries, I don't have a list of the five best countries to live in.

I don't think anyone really should.

There is no objectively perfect place to live.

There is only a place that fits your priorities, your personality and your current season of life.

That's also something I've learned from building Hidden Jam.

We organize small-group adventures around the world, from sailing in Croatia to surf trips in Portugal and ski trips in the Alps.

The same destination can create completely different experiences depending on the people you're traveling with, the season, the itinerary and what you're actually looking for.

The destination matters. But it's only one part of the experience.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I choose the right country to live in?

Start with the life you actually want to build rather than rankings of the best countries to live in. Consider your priorities, relationships, career, budget, climate, social life and how important it is for you to integrate into the local culture.

What should I consider before moving abroad?

Look beyond the obvious things like weather and cost of living. Think about visas, taxes, healthcare, banking, work, language, local bureaucracy, social life and whether you can realistically build the kind of life you want there.

Is it better to live somewhere before moving there permanently?

If possible, yes. Spending several weeks or months somewhere can reveal things that research and travel guides won't. Your experience of a neighborhood, social life, transportation and everyday routines can be very different from a short holiday.

How do I know if a country is a good fit for me?

Think about the downsides as much as the advantages. A place can look perfect on paper but still be wrong for your lifestyle. Pay attention to the things that annoy you when you visit, because small frustrations can become much bigger when you live somewhere long-term.

Can a place stop being right for you?

Absolutely. A place can be perfect for one stage of your life and wrong for another. Your priorities change, and moving somewhere else doesn't mean your previous choice was a mistake.